Growing up, my grandmother always told me that my birth was a true blessing, but I never knew what she really meant by that until now. I thought she was just saying that like she would say it to everyone else. Little did I know, there was more to the story. Hi, my name is Kira, and I am a rainbow baby.
For those who are not sure what a rainbow baby is, a rainbow baby is a baby that is born after a miscarriage. This baby is the one that gives parents hope and relief that they are capable of having a child, which can take away their doubts and worries. I know this first hand because I am a rainbow baby. As the intern for the IPL Collaborative this spring, I decided to do some digging into my own story and ask my mother some questions about my birth and here are some of the things I learned.
Before she found out that I was on the way, my mother suffered from a very traumatic miscarriage that resulted in the stillborn birth of my brother. His name was Kenneth. This miscarriage left a hole in my mother’s heart. Who would have thought that my birth would be the one to fill that hole? When my mother found out that she was expecting another child, she was excited, but also very worried because she didn't think she would be able to carry full-term. She was also worried about experiencing another miscarriage similar to the last one. Because of her previous miscarriage she had to undergo a lot of nonstress tests to make sure everything was okay throughout her entire pregnancy. She was eventually put on bed rest for about two or three months prior to her due date. I asked her if she thought it was possible to be pregnant again and her response was, “Yes, I believed I could get pregnant, but I did not know if I would be able to carry it to full term.” Because of this, she was quite tense throughout her pregnancy because she didn't want the same thing to happen again, but with support from family she was able to relax a little. I asked if I made a lot of movements and she told me that she would eat candy when she felt like I hadn't moved in a while and that would make me move. She didn't really feel any differences while carrying me compared to her previous pregnancy.
Coming closer to my birth she realized she didn't get around to naming me yet. She also realized that she needed to hurry and plan for my arrival because I was actually going to be born. I was born a little early and I was really tiny as my grandmother always likes to mention. My mother decided to name me Kira Narece after her favorite tv show character. At the time she was a huge fan of Star Trek Deep Space Nine and she decided to name me after one of the characters “Kira Narece.” She chose this name because she loved her name as well as her strong personality traits and believed that she would instill those traits in me as I was growing up.
One would've thought that she would be extremely overprotective but she was calm and relaxed. Throughout her entire pregnancy not only did she have my dad by her side for support, but she also had my grandmother who was by her side every step of the way even on the day I was born.
After hearing about my mother’s previous miscarriage, I decided to ask her what made her want to try again and have me? Her response was, “I just believed it would be better the next time, so when I felt mentally ready (no longer felt so devastatingly heartbroken by the first one), I tried again. I also believed you would help heal the rest of my heart, which you did. I’m not over it, I just can't live with it without regret.” In a way, my birth brought her out of her depression and gave her hope that she was capable of having a baby.
Throughout this whole entire process of putting together this rainbow baby story based on my birth, I learned that you never really know what people are going through in life because there were a lot of things that I did not know about my mother until I started doing this. I have gained so much insight while putting this together and most of all it brought my mother and I so much closer and for that I am truly grateful!
