IPL Story - I am a rainbow baby

Growing up, my grandmother always told me that my birth was a true blessing, but I never knew what she really meant by that until now. I thought she was just saying that like she would say it to everyone else. Little did I know, there was more to the story. Hi, my name is Kira, and I am a rainbow baby.


For those who are not sure what a rainbow baby is, a rainbow baby is a baby that is born after a miscarriage. This baby is the one that gives parents hope and relief that they are capable of having a child, which can take away their doubts and worries. I know this first hand because I am a rainbow baby. As the intern for the IPL Collaborative this spring, I decided to do some digging into my own story and ask my mother some questions about my birth and here are some of the things I learned.


Before she found out that I was on the way, my mother suffered from a very traumatic miscarriage that resulted in the stillborn birth of my brother. His name was Kenneth. This miscarriage left a hole in my mother’s heart. Who would have thought that my birth would be the one to fill that hole? When my mother found out that she was expecting another child, she was excited, but also very worried because she didn't think she would be able to carry full-term. She was also worried about experiencing another miscarriage similar to the last one. Because of her previous miscarriage she had to undergo a lot of nonstress tests to make sure everything was okay throughout her entire pregnancy. She was eventually put on bed rest for about two or three months prior to her due date. I asked her if she thought it was possible to be pregnant again and her response was, “Yes, I believed I could get pregnant, but I did not know if I would be able to carry it to full term.” Because of this, she was quite tense throughout her pregnancy because she didn't want the same thing to happen again, but with support from family she was able to relax a little. I asked if I made a lot of movements and she told me that she would eat candy when she felt like I hadn't moved in a while and that would make me move. She didn't really feel any differences while carrying me compared to her previous pregnancy.


Coming closer to my birth she realized she didn't get around to naming me yet. She also realized that she needed to hurry and plan for my arrival because I was actually going to be born. I was born a little early and I was really tiny as my grandmother always likes to mention. My mother decided to name me Kira Narece after her favorite tv show character. At the time she was a huge fan of Star Trek Deep Space Nine and she decided to name me after one of the characters “Kira Narece.” She chose this name because she loved her name as well as her strong personality traits and believed that she would instill those traits in me as I was growing up.


One would've thought that she would be extremely overprotective but she was calm and relaxed. Throughout her entire pregnancy not only did she have my dad by her side for support, but she also had my grandmother who was by her side every step of the way even on the day I was born.


After hearing about my mother’s previous miscarriage, I decided to ask her what made her want to try again and have me? Her response was, “I just believed it would be better the next time, so when I felt mentally ready (no longer felt so devastatingly heartbroken by the first one), I tried again. I also believed you would help heal the rest of my heart, which you did. I’m not over it, I just can't live with it without regret.” In a way, my birth brought her out of her depression and gave her hope that she was capable of having a baby.

Throughout this whole entire process of putting together this rainbow baby story based on my birth, I learned that you never really know what people are going through in life because there were a lot of things that I did not know about my mother until I started doing this. I have gained so much insight while putting this together and most of all it brought my mother and I so much closer and for that I am truly grateful!

IPL Story - Colleen

I always thought becoming pregnant was an easy thing to do. After I got married in February, I became pregnant right away this past summer after just our first time trying. A lot of my friends and family were also pregnant at this time so we were even more excited to announce our news!

I went to my first appointment around 4 weeks and got the confirmation that I was indeed pregnant. I felt great. I continued to play soccer, go for long runs, and live my normal life. I arrived to my 2nd appointment around week 9-10 thinking this is when I’d get my ultrasound. Little did I know, I was supposed to have scheduled my own ultrasound at the hospital weeks ago, soon after that first appointment. My doctor told me I needed to go and schedule that as soon as possible. Within the following week, I was on my way to hear my baby’s heart beat. When I arrived, I was a little nervous but then quickly talked myself out of it telling myself that this is a time I’m supposed to be excited, not worried.

HEALING THROUGH STORYTELLING: NICOLE CORRADO'S STORY

I always wanted more children and at 38, I decided to make that dream a reality.  Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. It was early on. A couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I started cramping.  I had no idea what was happening, but I knew something was wrong. I had been pregnant before and have two healthy grown boys.  I just figured this would be a healthy pregnancy also. But after the cramping, I started bleeding, so I called my doctor. The doctor said I was probably having a miscarriage.  I was in horrible pain both physically and mentally. Just waiting for it to all be over.

IPL Story - Kristin Fornito

February 2016 we found out that we were pregnant. I am 31 years old. We were so excited! It was my first pregnancy (my husband has children already). I was so very sick during the pregnancy. I’ll never forget that anytime I told the doctor/nurses about the sickness that they all had the same response: “being sick is actually a very good sign.”It was funny, but reassuring at the same time.
We went for our 12 week appointment where we were going to have our first ultra sound to finally see the baby and hear the heartbeat. The appointment was on April 21st. I remember googling what 12 week ultra sounds look like so I would know what to expect. My friend had suggested that I drink a little bit of soda prior to the appointment because she said then the baby would be more active during the

IPL Story - Kristen Ayling

January 4, 2011 is a date that I will always remember with sadness. I was 15 weeks pregnant and very excited to expand our family. We had our 2-year-old daughter make the announcement on our Christmas Cards just a few weeks before; she was holding a sign that read “Big Sister” on it. We had reached the safety of the 12-week mark, so we felt comfortable sharing our news.

IPL Story - Founding member of The IPL Collaborative, Kimberly Dasch-Yee, PhD

I plan everything. So, when I found out I was pregnant in October 2012, I was thrilled that the baby would be born in June 2013. I am a professor, and this meant the baby would be born during my more flexible time of year.

Around 6 weeks, I started spotting. It was light at first, so I tried to desperately hold on to hope. My husband tried to help me stay calm, and together we tried to convince ourselves it was going to be okay. By the morning, it was becoming clear that it was probably not going to be okay… at least not for this pregnancy. After talking with the obstetrician’s office, we ended up going to the Emergency Department, where we were told there was no heartbeat.

IPL Story - Founding member of The IPL Collaborative, Jenai Grigg, PhD

I gave birth to my daughter, Faye, when I was thirty-five. Despite my age, we conceived in our first month of trying. I had no major complications during pregnancy and gave birth naturally.

About a year after Faye was born, I woke to the return of my menstrual cycle, light spotting and mild cramps.  The second day it intensified.  I recall thinking it was much worse than any pre-pregnancy menstration I had ever experienced.   That afternoon I phoned my mom to tell her they felt more like contractions than what I remembered of cramps.  I called her a second time to tell her I had passed a large amount of very thin, watery blood.  I was confused and oblivious. Looking back, I cannot believe I didn’t piece together what was happening to me.  My mom knew.  She told me to call my midwife.  When I did, the nurse on the phone told me I was having a miscarriage.  

IPL Story - Founding member of The IPL Collaborative, Stacy McDonald, PhD

“Unfortunately, your test came back positive…for Trisomy 18.” Those are words that you never want to hear from a genetic counselor following a free-cell fetal DNA test.  I was 36 years old and 15 weeks pregnant at the time I received that phone call.  As my mind was reeling, I listened as the genetic counselor explained that most babies diagnosed with Trisomy 18 don’t survive pregnancy. 

Of those who make it full-term, half are stillbirth, and of the babies who make it to a live birth—approximately 95% die before their first birthday due to serious health issues.  I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me.  I’ve never felt emotional pain like that before.  I had to run upstairs and somehow maintain my composure, as our 4- and 6-year old daughters were home with me at the time.  They didn’t know that I was pregnant.  We were cautious about sharing our good news with family and friends this time around.  I don’t