When confronted with a traumatic event such as a pregnancy loss, it is common for those affected to use a wide array of coping strategies. They may gravitate toward behaviors that bring them comfort and/or temporary relief. These strategies may prove helpful in accepting what has happened to them or may worsen their grief.
Some coping strategies are considered adaptive coping strategies. These strategies may also be called positive or healthy coping, because they are helpful in leading to less long-term grief.
Acceptance - It can be difficult to acknowledge pregnancy loss and accept the pain that may come with it. However, once the loss has been accepted, it can be easier to express feelings to loved ones and make connections to others who experienced similar situations.
Humor - One way to move toward acceptance of the loss may be through humor. It may allow a woman to accept her experience and reframe it in order to see it in a more positive light.
Religion - Another way to move toward acceptance of the loss may be through religion, which may afford women the opportunity to use their faith to find a meaning for and explanation of what has happened.
Unfortunately, other coping behaviors are not as healthy and may result in increasing grief. These behaviors prevent women from accepting the loss and may prolong their grief.
Avoidance - During traumatic experiences such as pregnancy loss, it may be helpful at first to not fully process the pain that may come with the loss event. However, if a woman continues to reject what has occurred, it can extend or increase grief.
Self-blame - Some women may try to find an explanation or meaning for their pregnancy loss. During this process, they may find themselves blaming the choices they have made. Sadly, this can lead to women questioning if they made the wrong choice during the pregnancy and dwelling on it, which prevents them from moving forward.
Denial - For other women, it may be helpful to try to prevent themselves from feeling the hurt, pain, and/or devastation that can come with pregnancy loss. However, when women deny their experiences, especially to themselves, they are not allowing themselves to grieve nor to accept the situation that has occurred.
In turn, avoidance, self-blame and denial may hinder a woman’s healing and result in more intense grief.
It is helpful to distinguish between positive and negative coping strategies.
Recognizing which coping strategies lead to better outcomes may be the first step on the path of a positive healing journey.
Nazaré, B., Fonseca, A., & Canavarro, M. C. (2013). Adaptive and maladaptive grief responses following TOPFA: Actor and partner effects of coping strategies. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 31(3), 257–273. https://doi-org.holyfamily.idm.oclc.org/10.1080/02646838.2013.80678
