TOP TAKE-AWAY: Born After Infant Loss: The Experiences of Subsequent Children
Children born after a sibling’s death, often called “subsequent” or “rainbow” children, grow up aware of their family’s loss, but this study shows that their emotional well-being is strong, stable, and resilient. In interviews with ten teenagers born after an infant death (i,e., stillbirth, neonatal death, SIDS or sudden death in infancy), researchers found that these adolescents clearly understood their family’s grief, and many actually felt more loved and valued because of it. Rather than viewing the loss as a negative part of their story, they described feeling secure, emotionally supported, and special within their families.
A key takeaway from the study is that these children did not feel the usual pressure to replace their siblings or feel overprotected, as past research often suggests. None of the children felt compared to their deceased sibling or weighed down by their parents’ grief. Instead, they described their relationships as warm and trusting, especially with their mothers, and said their home life was open, communicative, and emotionally safe.
Another important note is that all adolescents knew about the sibling who died. Some grew up always knowing; others learned suddenly later in childhood. No matter how they learned, each teen processed the information in a healthy, balanced way. Several even expressed awareness that they might not have been born had the prior child lived, but they described this realization with maturity, acceptance, and gratitude rather than despair.
The study highlights that when grieving parents receive early emotional or bereavement support, it can positively impact the lives of their future children. Families who openly talk about the loss, answer questions honestly, and encourage emotional expression help their children feel more grounded, connected, and safe. This kind of openness strengthens bonds, builds resilience, and supports healthy identity development.
Overall, these findings show that with the proper support, open communication, and healthy grieving, children born after infant loss can thrive. They often grow up with strong self-esteem, feel genuinely valued, and have a meaningful sense of connection to both their family and the sibling they never knew they had.
Warland, J., O’Leary, J., & McCutcheon, H. (2010). Born after infant loss: The experiences of subsequent children. Midwifery, 27(4), 533–538. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.midw.2010.06.019
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