Every woman has a unique reproductive journey, successful or otherwise. When a pregnancy loss occurs, it is important for women to have their feelings validated by those around them, including their healthcare providers. In many cases, healthcare professionals get it right -- they validate a woman’s experience and are sensitive to the wide range of emotions that can be triggered by a loss. However, in some cases, healthcare professionals fail to recognize that not all women experience pregnancy loss in the same way. Women's experiences with loss and grief are complex and not solely related to how long they were pregnant. Because of this, it may be possible for a healthcare professional to underestimate the significant emotional trauma a woman may experience with an early loss. Healthcare professionals serve as authority figures whose reactions can affect how women may view their own loss. Thus, it is important that they validate the full range of emotions that women may experience.
A few ways to ensure women have their feelings validated include:
Treating her experience with sensitivity - This is a difficult situation for any woman and it is important to approach her with consideration and sensitivity.
Focusing on her perspective and feelings - However a woman views her pregnancy loss, she needs to feel as though her response is valid and justified and she has every right to feel how she does. The healthcare provider may not share the same view of the situation as the woman, but they must work to keep the focus on the woman’s individual perspective.
Allowing her to lead the conversation - It is essential to allow the patient to lead the conversation. This may feel counterintuitive, because healthcare providers have a lot of expert knowledge that they may want to share. However, it may be helpful to let the woman focus on what aspect of her experience she wants more information about, let her express how she feels, and let her be the one to ask the questions she wants answered. This allows the healthcare provider to tailor the information disseminated to what she needs and/or wants to hear.
When healthcare professionals take the time to take these steps, it can allow women to feel heard, understood, and strengthened. As a result, this allows women who experienced pregnancy loss to tell their stories instead of feeling shame and guilt. Each woman has her own reproductive story, and as a result each woman deserves her story to be validated in order to feel comfortable enough to share it with others.
Corbet-Owen, C., & Kruger, L.-M. (2001). The health system and emotional care: Validating the many meanings of spontaneous pregnancy loss. Families, Systems, & Health, 19(4), 411–427. https://doi-org.holyfamily.idm.oclc.org/10.1037/h0089469
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