TOP TAKE-AWAY: GUIDELINES FOR DEALING WITH PREGNANCY LOSS IN THE EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT

Many women who have experienced pregnancy loss often state that nurses, doctors and other medical professionals appear insensitive or uninformed when it comes to discussing their pregnancy loss. It has been established in the research that how women are treated by medical professionals can significantly impact their grieving process. Therefore, it is important that women and their families experiencing pregnancy loss are receiving proper support, care and information from their medical team.

TOP TAKE-AWAY: BREAKING THE SILENCE IN THE WORKPLACE

For those of you who have experienced pregnancy loss, you are quite familiar with the silence that surrounds it. This is especially true in the workplace. Approximately 47% of women in the workplace have experienced a miscarriage and have grieved in silence because of the perception that society is not open to hearing womens’ stories of loss. This results in silence becoming a default response and women keeping their pregnancy a secret in the workplace in fear of being judged by their co-workers. Often times, when women share their experience of miscarriage at work, their co-workers do not know how to handle or respond to the situation - further enforcing the belief that women should not share their feelings of loss and grief.

TOP TAKE-AWAY: SOCIAL SUPPORT AS A PATHWAY TO HEALTHY COPING

After parents experience a miscarriage, they often struggle to cope. Many parents use passive coping, which can be maladaptive in the long term because it consists of self-blame, wishful thinking, and ignoring the situation.

Active coping is a more adaptive form of coping, because it involves problem solving, changing the situation, or changing something about the self in order to deal with the situation. However, active coping can be uncomfortable and even make parents feel worse in the moment. In order to actively cope, a person has to directly confront the situation, and that can make you feel sad, angry, or anxious in the moment. So, while it may be beneficial in the long-term, it can be very hard to do in the short-term.

IPL Story - Colleen

I always thought becoming pregnant was an easy thing to do. After I got married in February, I became pregnant right away this past summer after just our first time trying. A lot of my friends and family were also pregnant at this time so we were even more excited to announce our news!

I went to my first appointment around 4 weeks and got the confirmation that I was indeed pregnant. I felt great. I continued to play soccer, go for long runs, and live my normal life. I arrived to my 2nd appointment around week 9-10 thinking this is when I’d get my ultrasound. Little did I know, I was supposed to have scheduled my own ultrasound at the hospital weeks ago, soon after that first appointment. My doctor told me I needed to go and schedule that as soon as possible. Within the following week, I was on my way to hear my baby’s heart beat. When I arrived, I was a little nervous but then quickly talked myself out of it telling myself that this is a time I’m supposed to be excited, not worried.

SAY HELLO TO OUR FALL 2019 INTERNS!

We’ve been working on a lot of projects lately with the help of our Fall Interns, Sarah Montgomery (left) and Taeya Norris (right)! Sarah is a senior Neuroscience major who is investigating the relationship between pregnancy loss and symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Taeya is a senior Psychology major, her project focuses on the coping methods used by women who have experienced involuntary pregnancy loss. Keep a look out for the interesting results from their work!

TOP-TAKE AWAY: AVOIDANCE AFTER RECURRENT MISCARRIAGE IS NORMAL, YOU’RE NOT ALONE

Recurrent miscarriages, where women experience multiple miscarriages, affect around 1% of women. While all miscarriages have a psychological impact, recurrent miscarriages may come with an additional layer of psychological distress. The frequency of miscarriage makes it more personal to women - they may feel like it’s their fault and that they will never have a successful pregnancy.

TOP-TAKEAWAY: HOW OTHERS CAN BE HELPFUL TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED PREGNANCY LOSS

After pregnancy loss, many women experience grief and distress, but they also experience silence. Some women report feeling hurt that their family and friends do not acknowledge their loss or seem to be avoiding them. Social support can be helpful in preventing depression following pregnancy loss - but it is important that those who are trying to be supportive are doing it in a helpful way.

TOP TAKE-AWAY: MOURNING INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS

The Invisible Loss

Involuntary pregnancy loss and childlessness is often an invisible type of loss, as many women believe their loss is socially unacceptable to discuss and cannot be openly acknowledged (Sives, 2016).  Admitting such a loss causes social discomfort, not only for the woman who has experienced it, but for the people she may be sharing her loss with as well.    

Women who experience involuntary pregnancy loss often profess strong feelings of isolation.  Finding the right words to accurately explain their situation and feelings can present some challenges.  Women have reported that when they vent to their partner or family members, they are either misunderstood, not fully “heard,” and/or the conversation is filled with awkward silences and well-intentioned, but unhelpful comments (Sives, 2016). 

TOP TAKE-AWAY: MEN GRIEVE MISCARRIAGE TOO

Men’s grief following miscarriage is often thought to be less intense and last for a shorter period of time compared to women. However, that’s not true for all men - some men have experienced similar or higher levels of grief compared to their partner. Some men report feeling as if they lost their identity as a father; one moment they were looking forward to fatherhood, then the next it was snatched away. Some men also report being concerned about future pregnancies and feeling of anxiety and fear about their future and having children.

TOP TAKE-AWAY: YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER: PREGNANCY DETACHMENT RESULTING FROM MISCARRIAGE

In preparing a manuscript for publication, we have been rereading the many pregnancy loss stories women have shared with us through our 2017 online survey.  

One woman’s description of her experience with pregnancy after loss provoked us to share her thoughts as a means of reinforcing the fact that there is no right or wrong way to respond to pregnancy loss. The woman was brave enough to share how her emotional detachment to a subsequent pregnancy made her feel like a horrible person.  

“Pregnancy as I knew it to be, happy, joyful, exciting, no longer existed for me though, which made me feel like a horrible person.  How could I not be excited about having another baby? My doctor kept reassuring me that it was my mind’s defense mechanism to protect my heart from being broken again.  After nine months of feeling that awful way, as soon as they placed my 2nd daughter in my arms, all of those emotions that I was suppressing came flooding out.  I finally breathed and let my guard down.”

TOP TAKEAWAYS: ATTACHMENT AND GRIEF

Attachment

The first trimester is monumental in a pregnancy. This is where the mother starts bonding with the baby, futures are being imagined, and announcements are being made. When a mother first finds out she’s pregnant, she starts developing an attachment to the baby and a new bond is made. The mother may experience the attachment more intensely, compared to the father, as the baby grows inside of her (that is, the mother is the gestational parent). Because of this strong attachment, the mother may feel the grief more strongly than the father. “Perhaps the mother's attachment to her child is the strongest bond in humans. This relationship has two unique characteristics. First, before birth, the infant gestates within the mother's body, and second, after birth, she ensures his survival while he is utterly dependent on her” (Goldbach et al., 1991).