TOP-TAKEAWAY: HOW OTHERS CAN BE HELPFUL TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED PREGNANCY LOSS

After pregnancy loss, many women experience grief and distress, but they also experience silence. Some women report feeling hurt that their family and friends do not acknowledge their loss or seem to be avoiding them. Social support can be helpful in preventing depression following pregnancy loss - but it is important that those who are trying to be supportive are doing it in a helpful way.

TOP TAKE-AWAY: MOURNING INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS

The Invisible Loss

Involuntary pregnancy loss and childlessness is often an invisible type of loss, as many women believe their loss is socially unacceptable to discuss and cannot be openly acknowledged (Sives, 2016).  Admitting such a loss causes social discomfort, not only for the woman who has experienced it, but for the people she may be sharing her loss with as well.    

Women who experience involuntary pregnancy loss often profess strong feelings of isolation.  Finding the right words to accurately explain their situation and feelings can present some challenges.  Women have reported that when they vent to their partner or family members, they are either misunderstood, not fully “heard,” and/or the conversation is filled with awkward silences and well-intentioned, but unhelpful comments (Sives, 2016). 

TOP TAKE-AWAY: MEN GRIEVE MISCARRIAGE TOO

Men’s grief following miscarriage is often thought to be less intense and last for a shorter period of time compared to women. However, that’s not true for all men - some men have experienced similar or higher levels of grief compared to their partner. Some men report feeling as if they lost their identity as a father; one moment they were looking forward to fatherhood, then the next it was snatched away. Some men also report being concerned about future pregnancies and feeling of anxiety and fear about their future and having children.

TOP TAKE-AWAY: YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER: PREGNANCY DETACHMENT RESULTING FROM MISCARRIAGE

In preparing a manuscript for publication, we have been rereading the many pregnancy loss stories women have shared with us through our 2017 online survey.  

One woman’s description of her experience with pregnancy after loss provoked us to share her thoughts as a means of reinforcing the fact that there is no right or wrong way to respond to pregnancy loss. The woman was brave enough to share how her emotional detachment to a subsequent pregnancy made her feel like a horrible person.  

“Pregnancy as I knew it to be, happy, joyful, exciting, no longer existed for me though, which made me feel like a horrible person.  How could I not be excited about having another baby? My doctor kept reassuring me that it was my mind’s defense mechanism to protect my heart from being broken again.  After nine months of feeling that awful way, as soon as they placed my 2nd daughter in my arms, all of those emotions that I was suppressing came flooding out.  I finally breathed and let my guard down.”

TOP TAKEAWAYS: ATTACHMENT AND GRIEF

Attachment

The first trimester is monumental in a pregnancy. This is where the mother starts bonding with the baby, futures are being imagined, and announcements are being made. When a mother first finds out she’s pregnant, she starts developing an attachment to the baby and a new bond is made. The mother may experience the attachment more intensely, compared to the father, as the baby grows inside of her (that is, the mother is the gestational parent). Because of this strong attachment, the mother may feel the grief more strongly than the father. “Perhaps the mother's attachment to her child is the strongest bond in humans. This relationship has two unique characteristics. First, before birth, the infant gestates within the mother's body, and second, after birth, she ensures his survival while he is utterly dependent on her” (Goldbach et al., 1991). 

INTRODUCING OUR IPL COLLABORATIVE INTERNS

Have you been enjoying our blog posts lately? Well, we’ve had help. We are excited to be working with two interns this spring.  MaryKate Donahue (left) and Freudline Joseph (Right) are both psychology majors at Holy Family University and have been working with us to continue the mission of the IPL Collaborative by helping us to research and write our blog posts.  Thanks so much for all of your time and hard work MaryKate and Freudline! The office is more fun with you two around.

TOP TAKE-AWAYS: HOW RELIGION HELPS COPING WITH PREGNANCY LOSS

Experiencing pregnancy loss is heartbreaking. Women who go through this heartache sometimes do not know how to cope with this loss. This can put women at risk for developing mental issues such as:  depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, and anxiety.  Suffering from heartbreak and a series of mental health issues puts women in an extremely vulnerable state. With that being said, it is imperative for women to look for different outlets that may help them cope with their loss.  For some, Religion can be one of those outlets.  

Religion as a Support Group
Religion is a way women can cope with pregnancy loss. Attending church services and meeting individuals who care about your well-being serves as a great coping method. Some may call this a “social network” where you can rely on people for help (Petts, 2018). Women who experience pregnancy loss often search for therapists or support groups to help alleviate some of their pain. When participating in religious groups, there is not always a need to go searching for these outlets. Religious groups are very much similar to support groups. Both groups tend to offer encouragement, comfort, and advice to individuals who are in need. In addition, what makes this even better is that religious participation is free of cost.

TOP TAKE-AWAYS: THE BENEFITS OF MISCARRIAGE BLOGS

Why do women blog about miscarriage?

Loneliness, anxiety, and depression are common emotions felt by women who have experienced pregnancy loss. And many times women are forced to deal with these feelings  alone, separated from others who can relate. Support for these women can be limited because of the lack of sensitivity and acknowledgment, lack of follow up care, lack of medical information, unwanted advice from others, and the false presumption that recovery happens quickly (Pang et al., 2018). 

With this lack of support, women tend to turn to internet sources in search of solace and information about pregnancy loss. Research suggests that gaining information and emotional support can potentially reduce the risk of depression, anxiety, and other complications that women face (Pang et al., 2018). Online blogs give women an outlet to share their stories and find the emotional support they need to cope with their loss. 

TOP TAKE-AWAYS: WHAT ARE EUPHEMISMS AND HOW DO THEY CONTRIBUTE TO THE CULTURE OF SILENCE?

A euphemism is a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing.

Examples: 
“Down there” = Vagina
“Lady Parts” / “Backside” = Vagina/Buttocks 
“That time of the month” or “Aunt Flo”= Menstrual Cycle
“Change of life” or “The change” = Menopause
“Miss” = Miscarriage 

Euphemisms have become heavily imbedded in our culture. They are often overlooked because of how normalized they have become. They are so common that we are oblivious to their use in everyday language. 

TOP TAKE-AWAYS: CONCRETE RECOMMENDATIONS FOR BREAKING THE SILENCE

Why is it that miscarriages are rarely ever talked about? It seems as though we only hear about them when it happens to someone close to us. Even then, the individuals who experience this tragedy often feel silenced. 

In this article, Layne (1997) shared her personal story of miscarriage. Just like any woman trying to conceive, Layne and her husband rejoiced as they discovered that they would soon become parents. After her thirteenth week of pregnancy, Layne began to have complications. She started cramping, spotting and soon began to bleed profusely. She called her birthing center and they directed her to contact the emergency room. Layne was not happy when she found out that no one from the birthing center would accompany her after promising that they would be by her side if anything were to go wrong. She claims that she “wrongly assumed their principle of care.” Despite their lack of support, her husband rushed her to the ER where she found out that she would be going home without her baby.

TOP TAKE-AWAYS: RISK OF MISCARRIAGE AFTER AMNIOCENTESIS: FACTS AND PERCEPTIONS

Amniocentesis, the sampling of amniotic fluid using a hollow needle inserted into the uterus, is the most common invasive procedure used to diagnose genetic conditions prenatally (Eddleman et al., 2006).

When faced with the decision of whether to undergo amniocentesis, most women experience some anxiety around making that decision.  This is likely because there is well-documented risk of miscarriage associated with the procedure.

What the exact rate of risk is varies a bit among investigators and organizations.  The CDC released a statement that the risk of miscarriage is between .25 and .5%, or  1 in 200.  In 2006, the First and Second Trimester Evaluation of Risk (FASTER) trial calculated the risk of miscarriage after amniocentesis to be 1/1600 or 0.006% higher than for those who did not undergo amniocentesis (Eddleman et al., 2006).  In 2007, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) published the rate of miscarriage associated with amniocentesis as 1/300-1/500.  In all, these risks are very low.