We’ve had the pleasure of working with Taylor Thomas, an undergraduate student who has been analyzing some of our survey data for her Honors Symposium project.
Self-blame was measured by two survey items that asked participants to indicate the extent to which: 1) I’ve been criticizing myself, and 2) I’ve been blaming myself for things that happened. Participants were also asked to indicate the extent to which: 1) My partner has been criticizing themself, and 2) My partner has been blaming themself for things that happened.
Interestingly, the effects of self-blame appear to be isolated (and isolating). When I blame
myself, it doesn’t necessarily mean I think my partner is blaming themself. Blaming myself makes me feel worse, but I don’t perceive it makes my partner feel worse. Perceiving that my partner is blaming themself makes makes me think my partner feels worse, but it doesn’t make me feel worse.
The findings suggest that self-blame plays a role in grief following a pregnancy loss. It may be helpful for couples who have experienced a pregnancy loss to look for signs of self-blame in their partner, as we know that self-blame is related to grief. And as the experience of self-blame appears to be isolated and perhaps isolating (my self-blame has no relationship with your self-blame or your grief), it may be helpful to intentionally reach out to support a significant other whom you perceive to be blaming themself.
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