In preparing a manuscript for publication, we have been rereading the many pregnancy loss stories women have shared with us through our 2017 online survey.
One woman’s description of her experience with pregnancy after loss provoked us to share her thoughts as a means of reinforcing the fact that there is no right or wrong way to respond to pregnancy loss. The woman was brave enough to share how her emotional detachment to a subsequent pregnancy made her feel like a horrible person.
“Pregnancy as I knew it to be, happy, joyful, exciting, no longer existed for me though, which made me feel like a horrible person. How could I not be excited about having another baby? My doctor kept reassuring me that it was my mind’s defense mechanism to protect my heart from being broken again. After nine months of feeling that awful way, as soon as they placed my 2nd daughter in my arms, all of those emotions that I was suppressing came flooding out. I finally breathed and let my guard down.”
This woman is not alone in her feelings. Madden (1994) found that some women reported less attachment to pregnancies following loss, saying things such as, “I didn’t let myself get too attached, because I was afraid of another miscarriage.”McCarthy et al. (2015) observed that many women who experience pregnancy loss may experience a higher level of depression, stress, and anxiety with the following pregnancy.
Quite often women report experiencing emotions that feel wrong and as a result feel ashamed of their response to their loss. The top take-away for today is that you are not a monster for struggling to bond with pregnancies following miscarriage. It is a normal response to loss.
Madden, M.E. (1994). The variety of emotional reactions to miscarriage. Women & Health, 21(2-3), 85-104.
McCarthy, F., Moss, M. R., Khashan, A., North, R., Baker, P., Dekker, G., & O’Donoghue, K. (2015). Previous pregnancy loss has an adverse impact on distress and behaviour in subsequent pregnancy. BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, 122(13), 1757–1764. https://doi.org/10.1111/1471-0528.13233
No comments:
Post a Comment